Day 08... Time is running out?

Okay right, so I achieved nothing much that I set out to do the last week.
I hope to catch up more this week then. procrastination... still the no. 1 killer for me. gotta work harder.

After some time thinking, I don't have much resolutions for 2008 yet, but I do have an idea of what I wanna do for the next 5 years... and I do have something which I intend to achieve.... both of which will require a lot of commitment. I hope I have the strength and willpower to achieve both.

but still I need to make sure certain things go well in 2008. so dream BIG and take baby steps...
;)

and have merry christmas... :)

just.... sleeep....

I spoke too soon, my insomniac problems are back... been waking up for the past 2 nights :( no thanks to some unsettling news that i got thru a friend. so I spent the whole night watching 天涯俠醫...

Being Back.... and Jobless

*phew* a lot of things have happened these past few months since I've gone M.I.A.
where should I start.

(1) quitted my job... After clearing my leaves, I left 3 days after I tendered my resignation. felt really sad leaving the office on the last day, i still remember the first time I stepped into the office one and a half years ago, with so much hope and enthusiasm, but leaving so disappointed and so quickly too. Maybe I grew too frustrated with the politics around, maybe it's just the weight of everything that's been happening recently, but I guess I just really needed a change pretty badly.

(2) I'm currently taking the longest break I've ever been in all 7 years of my so called working life. can't really say I'm really enjoying it really, without work to take things off my mind i feel so darned empty again.

(3) My insomniac problems which have been plaguing me these past couple of months are gone. Even without my medication, I've been sleeping like a baby without waking up in the middle of the night lately. Even the nightmares are gone.

(4) I went for the Linkin Park concert at the Singapore Indoor Stadium in November and also the concert for My Chemical Romance 2 weeks ago. It really made me feel a lot better. It's the only excuse I can use to just scream and channel out my frustrations without ppl thinking that I'm crazy, I supposed.

I guess, with the new year just around the corner, (despite the year of the rat supposedly being bad for horses like me ), I just want to take the opportunity to start everything all over (yet again)... so I'll be compiling my resolutions for 2008.

the geep is now the Geep

Good news :- I have been promoted to Graphics Programmer, effective November...
pending confirmation from above, but all the details have been ironed out. This is something which I have wanted since I joined the company.

but somehow... I still feel quite empty... like there's no one here to share the joy with me...

Someday I'd Be Saturday Night....

It's funny how a lot of times, people regret over things which had already happened. But I really can't help feeling this is one of those situations. I wished I could say, it's too late and I should concentrate on the now, and the future... and I should really... I need to move on, I need to forget about everything, and start from zero again, right now, but there were days when that's just so darned hard and tough... I know pretty darn well that someday, it'd be Saturday night. but right now, I just don't know how to get there... yet... sigh...

I really don't know what I should do... it's like a deja vu situation. and I really screwed it up pretty badly the first time around. and I absolutely have no idea how to approach the situation this time around. And I get more depressed that I'm actually just sitting here doing nothing about it. I know I need to get things fixed soon. but it's just not soon enough... sigh...

Anyway, what I wanted to say is... I'm sorry I've been such a selfish bastard before... I really am... I really hope that things will change.... really soon. really really soon... not soon enough for you... sigh...

Goodkat and Kelevra

One of the better movies I have watched for sometime now... I don't usually liked movies with Bruce Willis in it, except for maybe Pulp Fiction... and Sin City... and Twelve Monkeys... and The Sixth Sense... and The Jackal... hey... the dude's been in some very good movies after all. :P

There's light at the end of the tunnel

It's nice once in awhile to know there's a bunch of friends who cares about ya, and enjoys your company just as much as you enjoyed theirs. Thanks guys.. :P I feel better, a lot I really do...

personal analysis???

Out of boredom I did one of those online character analysis thingy...
and here's the result.




about you
You are a Designer

# As a DESIGNER, you are receptive to ideas and experiences, and enjoy the beautiful things in life, yet you are also grounded and realistic about yourself and the world.

# You have a quiet appreciation for beauty in all its forms – in nature, in people, and in human creations from architecture to movies.

# Instead of only focusing on functionality, you try to incorporate your good sense of style and taste into your choices.

# At times you feel unsure of yourself, especially when confronted by other people.

# You aren't the kind of person who insists on having things your way all the time – you are willing to go along with other people's opinions, even if you disagree.

# Others may not know this about you, but you are very interested in new ideas, thoughts, expressions, and experiences. You enjoy learning and trying new things.

# Although you are practical, you are anything but boring – you have depths to you that others cannot see.

# The idea of doing the same thing every day for the rest of your life scares you – you need more excitement and challenge than that!

# You have a remarkable eye for detail and precision, noticing things that others miss.

# You're not one to force your positions on a group, and you tend to be fair in evaluating different options.

# You are balanced in your approach to problem-solving, not letting your emotions hold you up.

# You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.

# You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people's notions of style.

# You tend to believe that things happen for a reason, and that not everything is under our control.

If you want to be different:
# Have faith in your ideas, and voice them more often. Your unique perspective needs to be shared!
# Allow yourself to become fully immersed in your dreams now and then. You can develop your aesthetic vision even further by allowing your imagination to flourish.
# Be as open to your own wishes as you are to those of others.
how you relate to others

You are Concerned
# Your understanding of others' emotions, your sense of right and wrong, and your skeptical nature make you CONCERNED.

# Your observations of your environment, in concert with your clearly defined worldview, leads you to be aware of the feelings of others.

# Because you can read people well, and because you can understand their feelings, you are often bothered by others' insensitive behavior.

# While you appreciate others' emotional nature, you don't think their emotional concerns should take precedence over their obligations to society.

# You prefer to be in smaller groups, as big groups can occasionally get out of hand.

# Order and structure are somewhat important to you—you believe that people's feelings are better protected when others are respectful and follow certain societal guidelines.

# You tend to share your feelings with a few individuals who are close with you, but otherwise you are a somewhat private person.

If you want to be different:
# Let your caring nature allow you to put more trust in people in general—you can have more faith in them without losing your valuable skepticism.


Shrugz....

So much anger...

I am sorry ( for the hundredth time, or maybe i've reached the thousandth time milestone now) that I've lost my patience... unreasonably, and I guess... I'm really sorry that I screamed at somebody today, I truly am. And I'm really sorry I left a bunch of friends worrying about me in front of Kino today wondering what the hell was wrong with me.. I guess there's really a lot of things wrong with me...

I just wished there's someway I can stop being so angry all the time, most of the time at myself.

I guess I really have to make it a point now... so like Ah Siang says.... "It's time for The Geep v.4.0" or maybe v.4.1.... or is it v.5.1 ?" and one of the bug I really have to fix... is the Anger Management System.

Why I stop going to the movies?

There was a time, well when I was very much younger... when I was watching movies all the time, I think I average going to the cinemas 2 times a week. and at that time, I wonder why the older ppl gets, the lesser they visit the cinemas. Well now that I am "very much older", I have reached the part where I frequent the cinemas lesser and lesser. I go like once in 2-3 months. but I still have no idea why is that so... maybe it's the work load... maybe i'm finally realising , it's not as "relaxing" as it seems now. or maybe they just don't make movies like they used to? or maybe my expectation has changed....

maybe I should stop pondering about this, and just go for a movie.

I See Dead PCs.....

lots and lots of them.... today's the first time I actually witness our game on Beta... well not exactly the first time, but it's the first time I actually checked out the war sessions. And really, it looks like Saving Private Ryan. lots of dead players lying around. I wish I can post some pics in here, but well, due to the strict rules pertaining posting of things about the game before it is released, I can't. but it's really incredible, and to think I'm actually part of it, I guess I have to say this is really the first time I actually feel some sense of pride over my job. we have gone a long way since a year ago when I first joined the company.



Anyway, check out the above cover spread done by Joe Mad! for the upcoming Ultimates 3 event ( source: IGN SDCC 2007 Ultimates 3 exclusive ). It's freaking awesome, I'll be looking forward to this title, if only for the artwork.

July 30, 2007 : Nothing special day.

This be days of working late into the night finding out how to read an xml file and converting unicode characters to UTF-8 characters, coming home to a lonely, empty room, trying hard to figure out what is the "Prime Object" , planning my trip home for my cousin's wedding, and doing some housekeeping on my hard-drive.

so, "nothing special"... really....

Recommended listening for the day : The All-American Rejects - It Ends Tonight

This is a freaking awesome song, I think I first heard it over the MTV channels, and then I heard it again in one of the episodes of Smallville. Totally fell in love with it. Going to buy the Rejects concert DVD soon.

Anyways, enjoy




It Ends Tonight

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

Recommended listening for the day : 陳奕迅 - 富士山下

Not exactly a new song, but definitely one of my favourite.
And somehow, I find myself listening to it almost every day.



Hope ya enjoy it.

There is no "i" in team

Tough luck convincing people about that, I don't know if this is a problem only in Singapore, or it's a whole worldwide thingy. So far in my career, I see a lot of politics going on everywhere. I've seen politics between clients and vendors, I've seen politics between departments, I've seen politics between people of different races, and I've seen politics between teams, but seriously, aren't we supposed to be working towards a common goal here? We do work for the same company, but everyday it's like a taichi exercise, or like my colleagues put it, a badminton game where everyone is busy trying to push the blame to someone else, and trying to cover their own asses. I see this everywhere I go, now is it just me being unlucky or is it the same everywhere else, and I should just get used to it and learn to play along?

Why do I watch sucky movies?

Spent the weekend watching a series of movies that, well, sucked.
I wonder why I put myself thru watching these movies when there are a lot of movies I have that I could watch rather than these. but somehow, I still chose to watch these.

A couple of months ago, for some crazy reason, I chose to watch Lady in the Water and The Wicker Man one after the other. and it gave me a headache. A really awful one. Only today, while surfing leisurely at wikipedia, did I found out that both these movies are nominated for worst movie of last year. geez, I should have known better.

And to think that I should have learned my lesson, and yet, here I am watching Norbit, I thought a comedy will cheer me up a bit, but I gave up watching 20 minutes into the movie, and Primeval, which I'm still watching, out of boredom i guess and having a major headache again.

or maybe the headache's just from the flu I'm having...

I really gotta stop wasting my time watching awful movies... If the review is bad, skip it.